In the words of the great Peter Griffin: “You know what really grinds my gears?”
FISH. Ignorant, stupid, smelly fish.
I’m a firm believer in Darwin’s theory of evolution, which is why stupid fish piss me off so much. Fish seem to have been completely left out of the evolution loop. Think about it. Man has been fishing for maybe tens of thousands of years the exact same way: bait on a fishing hook…and stupid fish just keep falling for it.
Rats have learned to outsmart old school rat traps or avoid them completely using the simple logic of “if there’s a piece of food conveniently placed in a wooden/metal contraption, it’s probably a setup.” Same goes for bears, deer, and other woodland creatures who’ve managed to learn to avoid phony hunter calls, scents, or traps. The “only the strong survive” concept has worked to perfection in these cases. The offspring of deer who are smart enough to avoid getting hunted are living long enough to reproduce, therefore passing on their “don’t fall for stupid traps” genes to their kids.
The evolution of some of these game animals force us superior humans to invent new techniques and traps of suckering these creatures into a situations involving an imminent (not to mention hilarious) death. These overly elaborate methods of shocking and devouring stupid animals amuse me, as I find any hunting footage to contain extremely high entertainment value.
But none of this happens with fish…Oh no. Fish are way too stupid to actually avoid the delicious-looking lure with
sharp hooks coming out of the side of it hanging from a string atop the surface. In turn, fishermen haven’t taken to inventing a remote-controlled submarine complete with underwater camera and armed with mini-torpedoes containing an inflation device that floats a fish’s lifeless body to the surface after a brutal underwater kill. There’s no genetically-altered live fishing lure creatures trained to seek out fish underwater and entice them to swallow their self-package; a kamikaze live fishing lure, if you will. Fishermen aren’t inventing this awesome shit because there’s no need to if stupid fucking fish keep swallowing the same old shit (figuratively and literally) over and over again.The fish that are living long enough to reproduce aren’t doing so because of their smarts, but rather their luck of not running into a fishing hook. These stupidly lucky fish are then passing their ignorant luck to their eggs, and so on and so forth.
This cycle of stupidity has been going on for thousands of years now, making fish without a shadow of a doubt: the stupidest creatures on the face of the earth.
It’s good to know this website acts like a diary for stupid information and whatever else wonders into your brain at the time. But yeah fish are pretty fucken stupid. Like Ivan when it comes to making important decisions that might alter his life. Or why somebody came up with the idea to have Special Olympics, so they wouldn’t feel left out in society.