Today’s special guest theorist for El Gammy’s Crazy Theories will be my daughter Cassandra. Enjoy.
Foreword by El Gammy
I like to think of myself as a pretty creative guy, with a powerful imagination, a rapist’s wit (whatever the hell that means) and mental agility that could rival that of Don King – one of the greatest bullshitters of our time.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending how you look at, my kid Cassandra inherited my knack for clever creativeness. Recently she laid out her definition of a heart attack. Remember, she’s four years old, and I have no idea where she got this from.
According to Cassandra:
A heart attack is when you grow old and you get another (second) bad heart in your chest. This bad heart then jumps out of your chest, turns around, and challenges your good heart in a battle to the death. Hence: Heart Attack.
While she didn’t finish her theory, apparently the winner of this heart attack battle between good and evil determines the fate of the body.
Evil heart wins = death.
Good heart wins = all is well.
Once I stopped laughing, it got me thinking “What if your heart did attack you?”
This is what I imagined. If you don’t like it, eat a dick. That’s all Paint baby, I still can’t figure out Photoshop. I’d like to see you do better than that. And as for the heart wearing boots – why not?
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!!
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