Going into the NBA postseason, I thought the Suns wouldn’t get past the 2nd round. The Suns live and die by the 3, and they couldn’t play defense to cure cancer, AIDS, or eliminate world hunger (which, if you know me, I consider them to be all good things since they keep the human population in check, but I digress).
To my surprise, they actually beat the Clippers in 7 games to make it to the Western Conference Finals. Okay, good for them right? Well… not so much.
Two key plays stand out on their run to the conference finals: Tim Thomas’ top-of-the-key 3 to send Game 6 against the Lakers into OT, and Raja Bell’s miraculous corner 3-pointer in Game 5 against the Clippers. Without those 2 shots, the Suns’ post season ends. For a high-powered, run-n-gun style of offense, that is completey unacceptable.
As they did every once in a while (whenever they felt like it, apparently), the Suns could blow out teams by 20 or more points. If they were on, no defense in the league could stop them and no offense in the league could out-score them. Of course, in the playoffs, no team has ever been able to keep up such a torrid pace, so elimination was inevitable. The fact that those 2 shots went in only prolonged their impending demise.
In the meantime, every Suns fan in the land grew a sense of false hope: “Hey, maybe they can get to the Finals with this style of play.” The Suns got everybody excited and pumped everybody up before bringing them down. They hustled us. They made the ride more of an emotional roller-coaster than it needed to be. Some might argue that this type of post season is better than an early first-round exit; I don’t. I don’t see a single difference between a first-round or third-round exit: they both equal no championship.
Getting Stoudemire back next year doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll get over the hump, although he’ll help their half-court game and defense tremendously. Due to a stupid technicality with the regular season records and the playoff seeding, the Suns were the #2 seed, and the real Western Conference Finals were played in the 2nd round between the Spurs and the Mavs. Both of those teams were championship caliber, and as Dallas showed us, the Suns weren’t. So we’ll see how much of a difference an overly arrogant Amare will be.
Before I agreed to attend the Suns’ final game this season, I prepped myself mentally for the let-down. I went in there believing the Suns would lose, so even when they went up 17 in the 2nd quarter I never got too excited. Yeah, I cheered, but I never really believed they would pull it off. Call me cynical, but I knew the Mavs would beat the Suns after watching their epic series against San Antonio. They’ve got Dirk, depth and determination, so I hope they beat the retard-led Heat in the Finals. And by Retard, I mean Shaq – I’ll write a Shaq the retard post a little later.
I had mentioned to my British Pops that under normal cicumstances, I would have been so pissed off to attend a game in which my team lost, that I might have flung myself from the upper section to land with a horrendous, bloody splatter onto the court. The purpose of this deadly jump would not only be to immediately end my misery, but also to cause everlasting emotional scars on the child spectators.
After all, isn’t that what life is all about? Inflicting irreparable pain on innocent infants?
Fuck the youth of America. They’re all being turned into whiny little bitches by their overprotective, oversensitive parents who put them on “time outs” instead of beating them like they’re all red-headed step children. ADHD and other mystical child behavior diseases can all be cured by some good old fashioned kid beatings.
It would be interesting to see how these wussified parents would deal with their children being exposed to a gruesome suicidal jump.
See what the Suns cause?
