This one is for my very homosexual, very out of the closet cousin, Ivan, who thinks Tom Cruise is the best thing to happen to men since women. As he says, “I just think Tom Cruise is the cat’s pajamas,” whatever the hell that means.
Tom Cruise Kills Oprah
Tom Cruise is a douche
Now, I am by no means an authority on scientology, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to use your high-level mental powers to destroy a popular talk-show host, even if she does poison the minds of women across the country. She might be a threat to the fast food industry as we know it, but the law does not permit vigilante justice, regardless of your Thetan operating level.
The Cruise Missle is currently out-of-order (meaning: unemployed), so I wouldn’t be surprised if he combined forces with fellow psycho… I mean… scientologist John Travolta to resurrect his career, make some money and stop eating his own children for sustenance. Yes, that’s what happened to him and Bulldog Katie’s unfortunate offspring – “it” was eaten by Ethan Hunt as a sacrifice to L. Ron Hubbard.
Killing talk show hosts, eating babies and recently MI:3. This is really the beginning of the end for Maverick.
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