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Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator
I blatantly ripped this off from some other source… I just can’t remember which one. You can consider this an introduction to my “I hate Poetry” post, in which I explain why every poet in every coffee house around the world is GAY. Poetry is stupid – but more on that later.
My sister took me to the Alice in Chains concert here in Tempe on September 25th in honor of my ascension into this world (read: birthday). The show was fucking incredible. Alice in Chains played a great set: all the classics in both grunge metal and acoustic. They came out the gates kicking ass with classics such as “Them Bones,” “Dam that River,” and “No Excuses” before slowing it down to an “Unplugged” version.
During the intermission they played some band “home” footage of Layne Staley in concerts, on the road and at home with some of his songs in the background. The crowd went wild. After the intermission Jerry Cantrell and the crew came out to a changed set with a more mellow tone. The played some of their more acoustic-friendly songs, such as “Down in a Hole,” “I Stay Away,” and “Whale and Whasp” off the Jar of Flies album.
After a long unplugged session, another intermission was again filled in by a video tribute to Layne. Alice in Chains came out again to finish off with their patented grunge hits: “Man in the Box,” “Angry Chair,” “Rooster,” and “Would?” for the big-bang finish.
“IF I WOULD, WOULD YOU?”
The crowd was awesome the whole night. Every lyric of every song was roared out, to which Jerry said “you guys have been kicking ass all night, let’s see if you can keep this up” before the last couple songs. What was particular great though was the diversity of the crowd. Normally, all the metal concerts I’ve been to at the Marquee are filled with young Metal heads and Goth kids… you know… the non-conformists. This one though, featured as many old folks as young kids, and best of all, the Scottsdale crowd. Fake tits and Douchebag rich boys everywhere – it was actually an awesome sight to see.
At various points throughout the 2-hour long set, the crowd started chants of “Jerry! Jerry!” as he went psycho on his guitar. This reminded me of when I was young and would watch Jerry Springer for the occasional nip-slip. Even though they blurred them out, at the time that was the best thing available and I always had a vivid imagination.
Now, onto the most important part of this whole new Alice in Chains ordeal: the lead singer. As you know, Layne Staley overdosed on heroin some years back, so they had to find a good replacement for this tour… and find him they did. Layne Staley’s voice is part of what made Alice in Chains’ sound so unique and distinct, so they couldn’t pull a Van Halen or Black Sabbath and just get another singer with a different sound.
William Duvall, lead singer of a band called “Comes With The Fall” ended up being that man. Duvall sounds so much like Staley that the casual fan would have trouble telling the difference. Jerry Cantrell still sung all of his parts and sounded great doing it, but Duvall made the Alice in Chains experience unique (not that I had seen them with Layne, but I imagine it would have been that great).
I have to admit I was surprised that a black guy could reach that sound – I’m not saying they can only spit rhymes, but there just haven’t been that many great black ROCK stars with voices as bad-ass as his (Kravitz is a douche, and his music sucks, so he doesn’t count). Maybe it was the afro that gives him powers – it worked for Hendrix right? Hopefully, Cantrell is in the mood to make some money and writes another album with this guy – not very likely, but a guy can dream right?
Anyway, I’ll find a picture of the bad-ass shirt that I bought at the concert later.
I told Matt I could stare at this picture for hours and he got freaked out. Apparently he is unsecure of his manhood. Anyway, click on the image to see a bigger and better version where you can see into the soul behind the eye. If you don’t have a decent-sized monitor like I do, stop being so goddamn cheap and get yourself one.
Shameful Plug: View all of Matt Sandy’s deviant art… on deviantart.
This post is for my cousin. And for my brother. My Sister. My aunts and uncles all across Mexico. BYAAAAAAHHH!!! We’re going all over North America, and then we’re gonna come back to the states, and we’re gonna take back the brown house!! BYAAAAAAHHH!!!
I bitched today at work about how Chappelle should be convicted of some frivolous crime and be sentenced to do his show until he can no longer say BYAAAAAAHHH!!! If the American Justice System was truly effective, this would be done without hesitation.
Chappelle is a selfish, self-serving asshole.
