El Gammy’s Blog of Death

I’ve never been a big fan of Canada or Canadians. Despite the fact that I’ve never met a Canadian or been to Canada, I have come to believe everything I’ve seen on South Park. So every time they come up, my natural instincts take over and I start ripping on them for the simple fact that they’re Canadian.

Recently though, I discovered the band Rush was from Canada, which got me thinking about how I probably knew of a handful of things that were from Canada that didn’t suck. Here’s my list:

Why Canada Doesn’t Suck:

8. The Canadian Kilted Yaksmen Anthem from Ren & Stimpy

7. Shania Twain

6. Jim Carrey

5. Terrance and Phillip

4. Rush

3. Steve Nash

2. Pamela Anderson’s Right Breast

1. Pamela Anderson’s Left Breast

Hmm… I was going for 10 but that’s all I could come up with. I guess that’s good enough for now – these things should make me think twice about pissing on Canada without hesitation… but then again, there’s this list (in no particular order):

Why Canada Sucks:

Bryan Adams

Celine Dion

Avril Lavigne

Nelly Furtado

Hockey

Lacrosse

Provinces instead of States

Their use of frivilous letters in words like “colour” and “favourite” (see my Stupid French Words in the English Language post for a better explanation on this one)

French-Canada

Damn. That’s 9 items in this list – 1 more than on the Why Canada Doesn’t Suck list – oh well… back to the drawing board.