One of the main reasons I don’t believe in the “Intelligent Design” theory is that there are no men with vaginas in the world.
I’m not talking about pre-op or post-op transexuals, or the circus-dwelling, hermaphroditic freaks of the world. No, no, no – I’m talking about regular men. Hair-covered, meat-powered, smelly, dirty, testosterone-laden men. The same exact men that watch sports, drink beer, make stupid bets and actually believe their team is gonna do better because they’re wearing their lucky socks. Yes, men just like me, Albert Pujols, Chuck Norris, John Wayne, Ray Lewis and Wilt Chamberlin… except with manginas instead of massive schlongs.
Why?
Because women fuck everything up. More than that, their titties fuck everything up. Anything that’s ever been pure and good has been somehow ruined by women and their feelings, emotions, estrogen and most specifically, their mammaries. But this is not a rant against women; it’s an argument against the existence of a divine, all-powerful being.
You see, for the first 16 years of his life, El Gammy was forced against his will to attend a hypocrisy center (most of you know it as “church”). Inevitably, during these 16 years I happened to pick up some of the twisted logic and fanaticism of christianity. Now, in order to explain why the absence of men with vaginas is an argument against “intelligent” design (which, quite frankly, is a questionable naming for a creation theory) I’m gonna have to share some of that knowledge with you here. So here it goes:
Basically, the reason why “God” created man was because he was bored with his angels. They were mindless, soulless drones who were created with the sole purpose to worship god. For eons, all they did every single second was worship god – sing to him, dance for him, and praise his name, power and glory. Naturally, this wasn’t enough for the greedy, selfish, all-mighty being. He wanted douchebags who actually had a choice to willingly worship him because they genuinely wanted to, not because they were programmed to.
So, one day he decides to create the sun and the stars, the oceans, the mountains, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, and then he creates man. Of course, the bible will tell you that god is a merciful god, who will forgive us no matter what we do, or how bad of sinners we are, and herein lies my problem:
If god wants us to worship him blindly, live for him and genuinely praise his name out of our own sheer will, then why create women? Why create boobs? Why create beautiful creatures with awesome curves that make it extra easy for us to lust over?
Tits make it virtually impossible to focus entirely on god, which is why the entire “intelligent design” theory is a crock of shit. If “god” were truly intelligent, he would NOT have created direct competition for the attention of males. As things stand, men have to choose between tits and god – they can’t have both. And everyone knows tits are the prevalent choice among hetero males.
Instead of creating women, their emotions and their tits – a real intelligent being would have done away entirely with estrogen and went right to men with vaginas. There… that’s it… there’s the method for procreation. You get guys with dicks and guys with pussies. Men with testicles and men with ovaries. On the outside they would look exactly the same, but on the inside, some men would have the ability to carry a baby in their womb for nine months. This would basically do away with the porn industry, and eliminate homosexuality altogether.
Without having to worry about naked chicks and their tits, men would be “free,” so to speak, to worship a god. Of course, that’s not the case… and because there are no men with vaginas, then the “intelligent design” theory is nothing more than that: a theory.
