Alright, so I’ve decided to start up a new category in the blog of death called “Chicks I’d Bang,” in which I’ll blog about… well… chicks I’d bang. However, El Gammy is not the one to simply list off hot chicks who anyone would bang, this category will be made of borderline/questionable chicks that the average douche might not even bang, but I would because let’s face it: I’m pretty fucken sick.
And so… without further ado… the very first chick in my new “Chicks I’d Bang” category is Erin Esurance. Erin who? Erin Esurance you tool. The animated chick from the Esurance commercials. You know, she fights bad guys, pimps esurance and always teases some douchestick male sidekick of hers? Yeah, her. Here she is in her full animated splendor:
You can she Erin has, among other generous ASSets, pink hair. This is just fine, as El Gammy has yet to poke a pink-haired pussy. More importantly than her pink hair though, is her huge rack, great ass and sexy voice – three very favorable traits in my bang or wouldn’t bang decision-making process. Furthermore, the commercials will show she is extremely flexible and athletic, leading me to believe she’ll be a hella good lay.
Some of you may be bothered by the fact that she’s animated, and that’s okay, I’m really bothered that a lot of you aren’t just animated pieces of someone else’s imagination – so like me, you’re just gonna have to learn to deal with it. In the meantime, I’ll be attentively watching all of esurance’s ads on TV. If I’m lucky, virtual sex like the kind Sylvester Stallone had with Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man will come around before I die.
So this one’s for you Erin, I’ll quote, buy, print you anytime… and then… you know… do other stuff to you too.
I’d bang her, too. Good call. She’s right up there with Judy Jetson, Jessica Rabbit, and the evil Jedi chick from the Star Wars Clone Wars cartoons.
But for for the sake of Jesus of fucking Christland, please stop saying “hella” you douche.
thanks for the kind words on Erin’s voice!
She has a 3 minute cartoon you can see if you go to esurance’s homepage.
Voice of Erin huh? I really, really desperately wish this was really you, cuz I’d call you up for phone sex faster than you can say “Quote. Buy. Print” baby, or for our purposes, “Zip. Pull. Finish.”
Ok, so I’m just curious. Are there any live girls you would bang?
Funny you should ask that SAM, but before I get to your question, I’ve gotta wonder about why a guy would be asking me if there are any real chicks I would bang.
I’m hoping you’re not “just curious” as in the prelude to “bi-curious” and therefore gay… and instead that SAM is short for Samantha and you’re curious about whether or not I’d throw it in you. If the latter is the case, then “Yes” I would bang you (depending on your bra size of course).
But if you’re a dude, then shame on you for asking such a goddamn stupid question. OF COURSE I would bang live girls! If you would’ve kindly taken the time to search around the Blog of Death, you would’ve come across this post, where I masterfully explain the meaning of life is TO HAVE SEX.. And although I’ve longed for the ability to bang animated chicks, that’s just not very plausible now is it?
Eventually, I’ll start listing the “live” chicks I’d bang, but like all good things: it’ll take time. In the meantime, let’s just cross our fingers and hope you’re a hot chick and not some semi-gay douchestick.
Actually, Sam is my initials. When I was young people called me that all the time. So I still use it on occasion.
Anyway, you should be so lucky to “bang” a hot girl like me. That is definately reserved for only very special men that come along. I was just curious if you could find a real girl hot or if you liked to stick to paper girls.
You are correct, I haven’t read very much of your Blog yet. I do find it entertaining. I will continue reading.
Very well then SAM, please continue reading and let me know if my words will ultimately make me one of the “very special men that come along” that are so lucky to bang you.
I’m gonna have a lot of free time on my hands coming up, so I’ll be laying down some more crazy theories and blogging a lot more often. Stay tuned…
E, I plan to keep reading. I will be leaving town for awhile. So, looks like I’ll have a lot of catching up to do when I get back.
Ha ha, as far as being a “very specail man” that gets to bang me. You have to figure that out yourself. There are no short cuts in life.
Hey there,
Haven’t talked to you in awhile. You haven’t bloged in awhile?
Whats new with you?
SAM
A repaired shoulder is what’s new with me. Stupid shoulder surgery impairs my typing ability, but I’ll get back on the proverbial blogging horse sometime soon.
And when I do, I’ll come with a vengeance and fury the likes of which have never been seen! Or at least something amusing…
Sorry to hear about your shoulder. I will stay posted then!
SAM