For those of you out there who haven’t seen Beowulf yet (holydouche!, not mentioning any names…), you really need to get off your lazy ass and go check it out. Aside from the fact that it’s a great flick, I’ll give you two specific reasons it’s totally worth seeing:
1) Angelina Jolie’s animated right boobie
2) Angelina Jolie’s animated left boobie
Yes, that’s right: I would absolutely bang the Animated Angelina Jolie from Beowulf. For starters, of course I’d bang the real Angelina Jolie, even though I’m not sure about the whole kissing her own brother or kissing her dad or wearing a bile of Billy Bong Thornton’s blood or adopting 17 ugly kids from around the world – but if there is one thing I am certain of is that she’s bound to fuck like a malnourished and caged jackrabbit on 7-day coke binge who hallucinates about using the semen of men (like me) as sustenance.
Also, I figure the Animated Angelina is far less likely to be carrying some sort of exotic VD, undoubtedly the only reason the real Angelina still keeps Brad around.
And with that, ladies and dbags, I leave you with a close-up of animated golden goodness: The Demon Nips.
I am kind of on strike as far as movies and television goes right now. It is becoming clear to the world that writers are what make shows what they are, and clearly, TV in particular is suffering from that now. That is why American Gladiator is the most heavily promoted new show of 2008. And you stupid people just sit there and like it.
I am this close to cancelling my Cox cable account.
With that said, I probably won’t try to go out and pay for movies any time soon, including Beowulf. I read it in college. Nice little story indeed, but Angelina Jolie’s animated boobies are no longer enough to pull me from the grips of my couch.
ha! holySmith! watching TV
The Biggest Loser watching The Biggest Loser.
Cancelling Cox will not help you, at least all the good re-runs are on cable…if you cancel Cox you will be forced to watch only network TV…god forbid!
Before I get into the blasphemous crap about canceling your Cox account, let me first address the first piece of blasphemous crap in your comment:
It is no secret that you are one of my mentors, holydouche!, which is why the admission that you are no longer able to “get up” for Angelina’s animated, ageless boobies is so devastating for me. It is apparent that you are becoming senile, and soon you’ll be as much of a drain on society as a black guy who doesn’t play a professional sport for a living.
Damn my blogging for leading to this disappoint-ridden comment thread!
Moving on, how bandwagonish would it be for you to cancel Cox when the going gets tough? You’re like those coward sports fans who only support their teams when they’re doing good and completely disappear during down years.
So you may not have new episodes of your favorite shows, but damnit you still have sports, you still have the Discovery Channel and National Geographic in beautiful HD, and if that’s not enough to keep you going, then think of the alternative: (as Jeley said) you will be forced to watch only network TV. And in some countries, that’s a form of torture. Think about that.
If you’ve had the Cox HD channels for long enough, you’d know that there are only so many channels – like 20 maybe. Once you have HD, you don’t go back to standard, which makes the other 200 channels useless to me.
It’s kind of like when you make the jump from using the condom to barebacking it with your girlfriend….there’s just no going back to the condom once you’ve experienced it the better way.
While I enjoy many of the HD channels like Mojo, Discovery, etc., the problem is that they all show the same things over and over and over again. I can only stand Sunrise Earth and repeats of Three Sheets so many times before I need to think about why I am paying out the ass for cable only to confine myself to the 20 HD channels, but rarely get to see new shit.
As far as Angelina’s CG boobies, we are talking about CG boobies, not real boobies. Real boobies would, in fact, be enough to pull my ass off the couch. If I wanted to see more fake tits, I would go to lunch in North Scottsdale.