Douchehinder Bagesh (aka Mohinder Suresh) is currently the narrator for Heroes, a show I’ve come to love passionately, like a warm fart trapped under the covers during a cold winter morning. I’ll go into the details of how much I fucking hate Douchehinder – and what a total, complete DOUCHEBAG he is later – but in the meantime, here’s a list of people whom I think should replace Bagesh as the Heroes’ Narrator (in no particular order):
- Morgan Freeman
- Mufasa (aka James Earl Jones)
- Gilbert Godfrey
- Tom Hanks doing the Forrest Gump voice
- Damon Wayans doing the Major Payne voice
- Michael Weston
- The Narrator from Big Lebowski
- Christopher Walken
- Christian Bale doing the incredibly deep voice from The Dark Knight (”Where’s Rachel?”)
- Louis Armstrong (even dead he’ll still do a better job than Douchehinder)
I will add more as I think of them. Feel free to offer up your silly suggestions, even though they’re doomed to pale in comparison to mine.
