Back in the day it was okay to smack your kids around for being insolent, in fact, it was even expected of you as a good parent (if you’re Mexican that might still hold true). But with all the politically correct groups like the One Million Crazy Fascist Bitches out there censoring shit and making sure today’s kids are pussified to their fullest extent, it’s getting harder and harder to beat your kids without coming under some sort of societal scrutiny.
That is why this video is so refreshing. The kid wasn’t doing anything wrong per se, but she did stray far enough from her negligent parent to catch a rising kick from the dancing douchebag. Watch closely as she is majestically and forcefully thrust into the air, with all four flailing limbs completely off the ground. At one point she even gets horizontal before seemingly landing on the back of her head – surely matching the bruise on her newly kicked-in face.
Now that you’ve watched this kid get served, please feel free to pause the video at strategically hilarious frames. It’s hard to do, but once you get it right your ensuing laughter will satisfy your thirst for humor for the rest of the day. And the next time you feel like field goal kicking an annoying little turd into the next room, remember this video and stay out of jail instead… unless of course you want to get tossed around like that from cell to cell, but that would make you gay. And unless you’re a smokin’ hot chick, being gay is bad… and wrong. There should be a stronger word for being gay, like “badong.” Yeah… being gay is badong.
I was going to write a thorough explanation of why the video below may quite possibly be the funniest short animated film in the history of the short animated films, but if you can’t come to that conclusion on your own, then quite frankly you’re not worth saving.
El Gammy Tip: For some stupid reason I can’t get this flash file to work properly on anything but Internet Explorer, so if you’re looking at this using FireFox, Opera or any of the other browsers that are typically superior to IE in every way, tough shit. Check out Unholy Fucker of Mothers Video at SuperDeluxe.com you suck-fucking, house cat rat dick.
El Gammy has been real busy in life, with life-related issues such as eating, sleeping and watching TV. So to break his month-long no-blogging streak, here’s one of El Gammy’s favorite South Park songs ever:
P. Diddy’s VOTE or DIE! Lyrics
P. Diddy: Your friend Kyle said you don’t understand the importance of voting.
Stan: I…
P. Diddy: Apparently you haven’t heard of my “Vote or Die” campaign. [holds up a shirt with the slogan on it]
Stan:”Vote or Die”? [upset] What the hell does that even mean?!
P. Diddy:[whips out a gun from his back pocket, cocks it, and aims it at Stan] What you think it means, bitch!!
Stan: AAAAH!!
Vote or die, mother_, motherfucker, vote or die!
Rock the vote or else I’m gonna stick a knife through your eye.
Democracy is founded on one simple rule!
Get out there and vote or I will motherfuckin kill you. Yeh.
I like it when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)
Shake them titties when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)
I slam my jimmy through your mouth roof (mouth roof)
Now get your big ass in the pollin’ booth.
I said vote, bitch, or I’ll fuckin kill you!
Vote or die, motherfucker, motherfucker, vote or die!
You can’t run from a .38, go ahead and try!
Let your opinion be heard! You gotta make a choice
‘Cause after I slit your throat you won’t have a fucken voice
You can probably tell by the blog’s design that I’m into anime. Some of you might look down at me for that, but that’s okay, I look down at you when my balls are on your chin.
Anyways, a couple of seasons ago, South Park spoofed anime in their “Good Times with Weapons” episode. I would go into more details, but if you haven’t already seen it, then you’re a tool who is not worth the waste of precious space on ElGammy.com. During the montage action scene, the song that comes on is hilarious. It’s sung half in Japanese and half in English.
Naturally, I had to look up what the rest of the lyrics were, and this video came in mighty handy:
South Park’s Let’s Fighting Love Lyrics
This wonderful penis thing
has hair on the balls.
That noise, is it a “sarubobo?”
No! It’s Ninjas.
Hey hey let’s go! Let’s fight.
This is important: protect my balls.
I’m badass, so let’s fighting.
Let’s fighting love…
This song is a bit stupid
It doesn’t make sense.
English is all fucked up.
It’s ok, we do it all the time!
Hey hey let’s go! Let’s fight.
This is important: protect my balls.
I’m badass, so let’s fighting.
Let’s fighting love…
Beethoven and Mozart couldn’t hold a candle to the sheer brilliance found in each of Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s testicles as far as I’m concerned. May their reign be long and prosperous… much like their penises. (Yes, I do have great respect for the genitalia of the men behind South Park – who wouldn’t?).
I once dedicated a large portion of my life to this game and the entire Sonic series. Had I been able to play like this, that time would’ve been lessened by around 78%. The guys around the office here speculate this awesome performance is computer manipulated, as in, somebody hacked the game and made it so that Sonic runs through each level at maximum speed.
I could care less which is the truth because it still looks awesome, but I would prefer that some nerd actually sat down to make his calculations and then executed them with extreme efficiency. Why? Two things: 1) It makes for a better story, and 2) it makes that guy a virgin. Unfortunately, that disproves my theory that virgins can’t amount to anything in life, since this is a feat worthy of the highest praise. Or is it?
I guess virgins can’t really amount to anything in life, since they’re not fulfilling the ultimate purpose. And if you don’t know what that is, read the meaning of life here. Then go off yourself if you’re not really “living”… or go master a video game, it’s up to you.
