| ||
No, he’s not worth $0.50, you tool. He IS 50 Cent. Can you guess which is which?
And in case you missed it, Fabricio Oberto = Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. But in his case, he doesn’t just look like him, he’s also a cross-dressing psychotic assclown.
A good omen on the night of my first Metallica concert:
For undisclosed insurance purposes, I’ll let the pictures tell the story:
So started the conversation between my daughter and I after I called some idiot who cut me off on the freeway a “total douchebag.” I pondered for a moment as I struggled to come up with a semi-appropriate answer to give a five-year-old. Then, after playing out several potentially embarrassing scenarios in my head about what would happen if I explained what an actual douchebag was to her, I opted for the safe route and bought myself more time.
“I can’t tell you that right now Kid, but I can tell you that you are never to say that word to anyone. It is not a nice word to say and a little girl like yourself should never use it. Okay?”
She agreed, although I could tell she wasn’t too satisfied about not uncovering the meaning of this fascinating new word she had discovered. Feeling a little guilty (just a little…), I decided to remind her about how she’s going to be able to curse freely once she grows up. Being somewhat content, she decided to let it go at least for the moment. I quickly took advantage of the situation by changing the subject to something less douchey, like jelly beans or whatever the hell it is kids like these days.
And for the record, I would’ve heavily used Ryan Seacrest in my definition of douchebag. Heavily. Then, since she’s a visual learner, I would’ve taken her to see some of the pics on HotChickswithDouchebags.com for some quick case studies. HCwDBs is like the Discovery Channel for Douchebags, or as we like to call it: the Douchecovery Channel. It’s also known around Doucheology study groups as National Doucheographic.
When I read this article from Editor & Publisher I laughed about as hard as I did after I saw this little kid getting served. Basically, it proved a long-standing contention of mine that the ignorant and poorly educated are more susceptible to believe in nonsense like the bible and the mystical teachings of god.
Here’s the some of the highlights from the article:
There is also a strong relationship between education and belief in a literal Bible, Gallup explains, with such belief becoming much less prevalent as schooling continues.
Those who believe in the literal Bible amount to 31% of adult Americans. This is a decline of about 7% compared with Gallup polls taken in the 1970s and 1980s. It is strongest in the South.
Believe in the literal word of the Bible is strongest among those whose schooling stopped with high school and declines steadily with educational level, with only 20% of college graduates holding that view and 11% of those with an advanced degree.
Did you notice the “It is the strongest in the South” part? Well, apparently this correlation between stupidity and gullibility also holds true for the sport of Nascar – the dumber you are the more likely you’ll enjoy watching cars endlessly go in circles.
A big thanks to Matt Industries for the link. Matt Industries: Producing Quality Links Since Last September
